52. Bake cookies for my dog.

Status: Creatively completed.

Here is a copy of my dog, Jasper's, allergy report:

Bluegrass/June grass, Orchard, Fescue, Ryegrass, Ragweed, Pigweed/Careless Weed, Sage, Willow, Oak, Elm, Sycamore, Alternaria, Penicillium, Rhizopus, Saccharomyces, Mixed Feathers, Housedust/mites, Beef, Pork, Soybean, Corn, Oatmeal, Barley, Carrots, Peas, Wool, Tobacco Smoke, Mosquito, Malassezia (that one means she's allergic to her own skin)

These are things she's borderline allergic to:

Redtop, Dock/Sheep Sorrel, Pecan/Hickory, Smut Mix, Mouse Epi, Wheat, Kapok, Flea

Miscellaneous Allergies:

Dragons, Santa's Sleigh, Pixie Dust, Trees filled with elves, goblins, Houses made of gingerbread, Communism, Henry David Thoreau, Easter Eggs, Clown shoes, Blue Wigs with a nice little fringe that blair said made me look young, Scotch Tape Dispensers. (she got her nose caught in one as a puppy)

How do you make cookies without any sort of wheat or oatmeal? You improvise! With potato, tuna, and green pepper. They were completely unorthodox and crumbly, but even my mom said they were tasty! And Jasper licked the bowl clean......

17. Go to the Nutcracker at Christmas time.

Status: Cultured.

I've been wanting to go to the full professional production of the Nutcracker (to complete my "Christmas spirit" list) for ages, but it's sooooooo expensive! Well this year, having worked part-time the entire semester, I decided that I could afford it (nevermind that I spent every last cent of my earnings last month in a Spice Girls fury.) We got all dolled up and headed out in the blizzard-like conditions to the fancy "Jube" to have our cultural experience. The whole thing was so over the top, I felt underdressed, and I was wearing a dress! There were people decked out in full length ball gowns and tiaras.

The ballet was excellent....and made me a little nostalgic. I was in my studio's production of the Nutcracker when I was 15, I played a kid in the party scene, and a snowflake in the winter scene....which are still arguably good parts.....but nothing compared to the Sugar Plum Fairy! Why oh why couldn't I have been the Sugar Plum Fairy?? It's just like my school's production of Alice in Wonderland when I was 9 (ish) and desperately wanted to be the cheshire cat.....and ended up being tweedle dee. :( Oh my hard life!

72. Take 10 pictures around campus.

Status: 20% (roughly the grade I'm expecting to receive on on my calculus final - see below)

While Edmonton isn't the most.....well.....aesthetically pleasing city (and has to make up for it by having an awesome mall), the campus really is nice. I don't know how many times I've walked home from the engineering centre late at night and noticed how beautiful the softly falling snow in front of the street light with the bunny munching grass under it looked, but didn't have my camera. So I am now taking it upon myself to take pictures like this:















Note that I didn't say I took these pictures....they may have been on postcards.....




I took these ones:












Yeah, I need to learn how to use my camera.......I'd add it to my list but I'm plum out of room!

11. Pass calculus with a B.

Status: AHAHAHA!

Short of a full-on Christmas miracle, this is not going to happen. Failing the midterm a little over a month ago put me in nerve-wrecking position for the final exam. You know you're in trouble when you've figured out that you need to score a 45% on the final just to pass the class, and you're worried that you can't even pull THAT off - a 45%!

With this reality on my mind, I tossed and turned all night, and then made the much dreaded walk to the Pavillion this morning. I was literally gagging on the way there, and my primary concern became not throwing up on the side of the road for everyone to see.

The exam went well.....considering. I would say the bad only slightly outnumbered the good, which is all I could have hoped for! The trig. limits completely baffled me, and my critical numbers in the concavity question were not easy to come by or work with (you try putting root of 2 into an already complicated function), but I breezed through the summations and integrals, and I'm fairly certain that I successfully determined the dimensions of a cylinder, if the length and circumference must add up to 168, that would hold the maximum volume, just in case the post office should misplace all of their tape measures and desperately need to know.

Whatever the outcome may be, it's a huge weight off my shoulders that it's over. And I'll tell you this much for certain. I am NOT taking calculus again if I fail. I'd rather drop out and turn to prostitution.

46. Take Matt to Flin Flon.

Status: To be completed on Dec.29!

*Singing* I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I neeeed.
I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree.
I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know!
Make my wish come trueeeeee!
All I want for Christmas, is YOOUUUUU!

Shall I go on?

73. Go to a Spice Girls concert!

Status: Spiced up for life.

I don't even know where to start with this one. I first put it on the list with wishful thinking, but not really believing that it could possibly happen. I mean, you had to enter a draw just to win the chance to buy tickets! The London concert sold out in 35 seconds! I am SO lucky! I was at the very first show of the Spice Girls reunion tour.

So with the constant dilemma of the crucial concert outfit on my mind, I boarded a plane to Vancouver Friday afternoon. I would be in Vancouver for 3 days, but my suitcase was bursting at the seams with anything I own that could be considered even remotely Spice-like (couldn't find the great big union jack platform shoes I was looking for, sadly.)

Met up with my mom and sister at our fancy Robson Street hotel - and the view from our balcony, 26 floors up, was so gorgeous - my camera could not do it justice.

The next day and a half consisted of frivolous shopping, fancy restaurants (complete with guilty indulges in amazing desserts! The gingerbread cake from Earls comes highly recommended from this girl), and TERRIBLE weather! Honestly, it hardly ever snows in Vancouver - so accordingly the only time it does is when I stop by for the weekend. Vancouver snow is infuriating, it's not cold enough there for proper snow - it's just clumps of slush falling on your face. The wetness of it all chills you to the bone! When I stepped out of the airport back in -20 degrees Edmonton, I exclaimed, "Yes! Familiar cold!"

Wait, what's this about again? Right, the concert! Back on task, I met up with the girls Sunday afternoon to Spice ourselves up! I drank entirely too much wine while "baby-ing (-ish)" myself up, and was inappropriately half-cut to see a band that I loved when I was 11! Finally, and drunkenly, decided on a red dress with fishnet stockings, Baby Spice hairstyle, uncomfortable false eyelashes (in case they asked me up on stage with them, of course), and my rocket dog boots because it was cold dammit!





















Because of unreliable cabs we got to GM Place a bit late, no time for merchandise! Straight to our seats, and, after a David Beckham sighting (!!), there was a frenzy of activity, lights, and videos on stage.....and out come the Spice Girls looking amazing. They were a bit more sophisticated, sadly, but there was the odd platform shoe, union jack dress, and leopard print. They started with "Spice up your life" (I called it!) and went straight into "Stop" and my personal favourite "Say you'll be there" The screaming was deafening, particularly my own!


I don't even really know how to describe it - obviously the Spice Girls aren't the most exquisite musicians of our time - but it's about more than that. We had a blast reliving our childhoods, it was all so nostalgic and exciting......and yes everyone was crying during "Mama"! It all ended way too soon. I bought the World Tour program for an insane amount of money, and we were out the door into the pouring rain (I was "Drowned Rat Spice"). I still can't believe it's over. :(

And yes, they did ask me to go on tour with them. But after careful deliberation I had to respectfully decline their offer. My studies are more important.

44. Learn 5 ways to make tofu.

Status: 1/5

I am not the greatest vegetarian. In fact, I flat out refused to eat vegetables until I was 17. Not entirely sure how I'm alive, actually. It defies modern science that I did not come down with scurvy.

My parents would always say "you'll like them someday" and I'd scream, dramatically, "NEVER!" Well, grudgingly I now have to admit that they were right (though I still hate peas!) Vegetables are yum, and eating right is where it's at! Which is why I should eat more tofu (also because when I tried to donate blood I was told that no one wants that "protein-weak water" running through my veins) but it's just so......nothing. It tastes like nothing! Up until now I'd only eat tofu in the deep-fried grease-laden variety from Oodle Noodle Box. To health it up a bit I brought out my treasured copy of "Eat, Shrink, and be Merry" and made "Parma Chameleon". Tofu parmesan! It was so good that I forgot I was eating tofu!

When my roomate, who shall remain unnamed, walked into the kitchen, she exclaimed, "Jackie, what did you make?? It smells so good!", and when I told her what it was, she cringed! Poor tofu, such a bad rep.........

Now I imagine I'll have to get on the next 4 soon as I've got half a block of the stuff rotting in my fridge.

25. Tie/ un-tie the laces of my runners every time I put them on/ take them off, until it gets too cold for me to wear them this winter.

Status: Too cold!

You'll just have to trust me on this one, but since they were expensive (though ironically from Payless), I followed this fairly religiously. The one exception being the day I went shopping for new jeans, and the untying/tying requirement complicated the trying-on process to the point of sheer exhaustion. And I firmly believe that diverse situations deserve flexible analysis in regards to levels of shoe carelessness.

But the only reason I was able to accomplish this was because I mainly went straight from ballet flats to boots. Despite them being half pink, as a rule I'm too much on the girly side to bother with runners to any great extent.

Shallow and Pedantic Blog Entry

Since this is not a diary blog, I'm going to make an obscure attempt to link one of my completed items to what I really want to write about: the snow. So here goes:

"It's a good thing I bought those winter boots when I did, because I woke up to this winter wonderland this morning."

There, a futile follow-up of my excellent purchase. Now that the connection has been made, isn't my street pretty with snow??




It's about time too, we usually have snow by the end of October - meaning the bunnies got an extra 3 weeks of unlimited food supply.....and they're getting embarrassingly chubby. Come to think, that'd be a nice deal - if all of the cakes and pies went away for the winter (grass, in the bunnies' case) and I was forced to eat less.



AND (just when you thought I couldn't add yet another seemingly unrelated occurrence) since there is now snow it was perfectly acceptable to set up our little Charlie Brown Christmas tree. And yes, we do have a present under there already! It's construction paper from me to my roomies so, through the manipulation with scissors and crayons, we can fill our little apartment with holiday spirit!

18. Make all the cheesecakes in my cheesecake book.

Status: 6 out of 30.

I would not consider myself to be the greatest of cooks. I burn absolutely everything that I place in a frying pan, and could not make cookies to save my life. I bought pre-made cookie dough once, and somehow set it on fire in the oven. But strangely, I have found my niche in the baking world with cheesecakes. I just looooove making cheesecakes, the batter (being the most delicious stage of any baked good) is more sugary and addictive than anything else you'd find in a bakery, and it's nearly impossible to screw up (says the girl who can't bake cookies!)

So for years now it's been my 'thing' to make cheesecakes. Last year for Christmas my mom gave me a little book of fancy cheesecakes (which was a conflict of interest, as she loves my cheesecakes), and I would like to take the opportunity to cross off the ones I've made since adding this challenge to my list (and a few that were made post-101 in 1001 list, but deserve to be counted dammit!) Good and done are: chocolate-cranberry cheesecake (made for Christmas dinner last year), mint chocolate chip cheesecake (it was like eating chocolate and brushing your teeth at the same time!), chocolate swirl cheesecake, cafe au lait cheesecake, peach cheesecake, and white chocolate cheeecake.

Next on the docket: White chocolate raspberry cheesecake (my roomate's choice), and eggnog cheesecake for Christmas!

How many do you think you can eat, Matt?

68. Buy new winter boots.

Status: Bringing sexy back.

Well, it's finally happened. I've finally become trendy. I am a total fashion conformist, and it's time to admit it. I've fought it long, and I've fought it hard, for two winters now I've trudged around in inadequate footwear, but my feet were cold, dammit!

Nevermind that we, for some strange reason, don't even have snow yet (Can I get a hip hip hooray for global warming?), yesterday I went out and bought what I would call Ugg-like boots. They're not Uggs (As Uggs are roughly my entire months' budget), they're Rocket Dogs, and they're purrrrrrty. Plus now my tootsies can brave the -20 weather that is soon to be upon us, and I can skip happily through mountains of snow. And yes, I AM going to roll my pants up when I wear them to show them off, because they were expensive!

56. Give sushi another try.

Status: Yuck

I wish I liked sushi.....I really do, and I like to think I'm fairly open-minded when it comes to food (despite my meat-and-potato upbringing, which turned me completely off meat and, honestly, potatoes, by the time I was 12). I can't think of any cultural cuisine that I could completely write off, and even Japanese food has elements that I can.....tolerate. But sushi is just foul.

I've given it the old college try before, resulting in absolute disdain. But it just looks so cool to eat.....so trendy, so hip! I desperately want to be a part of this, not stuck in a stuffy spaghetti and meatballs routine like my parents! So I decided to give sushi another chance, and when I was invited out to a sushi restaurant a few days ago, I accepted......with only a bit of nervous hesitation.

I love the atmosphere, the dim lighting, taking off your shoes, sitting cross-legged in the booth......if only the food wasn't so vile. The problem isn't the rice....or the cucumber....it's the damn seaweed that's wrapped around it! Even before I was a vegetarian, I refused to eat absolutely anything that came out of water....so if it wasn't wrapped in weeds ripped from the sea....I think I could actually enjoy it. Why can't they wrap it in fruit roll-ups? Needless to say, I ended up peeling the seaweed off every roll and eating a mess of rice and cucumber.

So there you have it, I tried and failed. It'll be tempura for me from now on.

57. Make muffins for my roomates.

Out of sheer apathy towards my studies, I decided to not do research for that 10-pager I have due soon, and instead spend my precious Wednesday evening baking and watching trash TV! (Yes, ANTM, because I like to eat fatty food whilst watching skinny models on TV, tastes even better knowing they can't eat it.)

I even braved the wind and rain to make the trek to Safeway to get the necessary ingredients to make carrot muffins with cream cheese icing! Yum! (No picture as they're....umm...all gone....already)

And you may say that I didn't actually do this out of the goodness of my heart, and that I was just trying to avoid the nagging components of my student life, but I'll remind you that there was no stipulation regarding where my intentions must lie in the original list item!

The fact that I'm posting this from work should also give some idea of my professional ethic. But I am wearing pinstripe dress pants and I think giving off the impression of professionalism is enough for one day.

97. Bake cupcakes.

Status: Completed, but feeling sick.

Short and very sweet note on my supreme baking ability. Sara and I needed a girls night in, for which baked goods are an absolute necessity. Cupcakes were made and decorated with extreme care and agility (and by that I mean a box of cake mix was used and icing in a can was purchased.) But before you look at the pictures let me remind you that taste accounts for more than appearance when it comes to the art of cupcakes! And they had a chocolate centre!





And let it be known that crushing a snickers bar on top of a cupcake was easily the most enlightened decision of my entire life. Mmmmmmm! But after three cupcakes and about 7 more cupcake's worth of batter.....my tummy hates me.

34. Go Trick-or-Eating for the food bank on Halloween again.

Status: Done for this year!

I'd consider myself a fairly charitable person, I do what I can, but this deed for the campus food bank was far from selfless. I have to admit, I do this every year because I have yet to truly grow-up, and I'm not ready to give up trick-or-treating! The costumes! The candy! The excitement! The candy! Running around in the dark on a spooky night! The candy! The liquor??

It's not all fun, as I had to haul around the incredible things people would donate to the food bank....a massive tub of peanut butter, 3 gigantic jugs of juice....I had to lug around a tin can of beans that I'm positive weighed more than me. But the fun parts are VERY fun! Reliving one's childhood by dressing up and begging for candy, while still benefiting from the perks of adulthood and being offered alcohol while begging for candy. In particular, we were given a 6-pack which was devoured promptly en route, and I had the "adult treat" at one house which consisted of a vodka shot washed down with chocolate. Felt a bit strange to be downing hard liquor whilst small children dressed as fairies and superheroes came to the door for candy.

Afterwards while indulging in a nourishing meal at Boston Pizza (aka - more beer) loot was compared and negotiations were made. Turns out I ended up with way less candy than everyone else, but joke's on them because we all have to be in bikini's in Mexico in 4 months.

On a sidenote, I love Halloween and am sad that it's over. The things that you see! I saw a guy dressed as Luigi from Mario Bros. running frantically for the bus, and I got the fast-paced Mario music in my head (you know, when you're running out of time near the end and you're rushing toward the castle to bring down the flag) Not to mention this lego man that was strolling around campus all day.

Until next year!

83. Have icky lister breakfast. Hopefully on cheesy-egg day.

Status: So-ooooooooooooo full.

A little University of Alberta lesson is in order before I start with my description. Our massive (holds at least 2000 people) undergraduate residence here is called Lister Centre. It is everything you'd ever heard about university residences.....a place where girls come at the ripe age of eighteen to loose their morals. The first time parents aren't around and you're 1000 km from home. Needless to say, in Schaffer Hall (the tower we lived in) in Lister Centre, we pre-drank harder than you partied.

Thankfully, for those blurry weekend mornings, we had the Lister cafeteria....which certainly knew its audience and served the exact cure for a hangover.....awful greasy eggs and hashbrowns. The only way to eat it was to mix it all together, and cover it in ketchup and seasoning salt, and hide some shredded cheese from the salad bar under a clump of egg (so they don't charge you extra for it). Afterwards, you feel what can only be described as "gut rot". Still, it's a reminder of our glory days as Listerites, and we keep going back!



You can't see it, but there's a thick film of grease on the plate from the eggs. Eggs shouldn't be greasy!!

89. Win the "tin-off".

Status: We'll call it a draw.

Well, my entire room is covered in sparkles, and when I sneezed yesterday, silver came out.....but it was all worth it in the end as there is very little in this world more enjoyable then going out in public dressed up in a themed way with your friends.


In our Wizard of Oz group, Dorothy's boyfriend and I both insisted on being the tinman. Neither of us would budge on it, believing in our superior tinman potential, so it was evident that a contest was indeed in order. He went for the more traditional tinman approach, while I put a slight prostitute angle on it (it's what Halloween's all about!) The tin-off required not only a winning costume, but a winning attempt at doing the robot (Not sure how they're connected....) at which I cannot be beaten.





I was hoping to strike off "Go out in public dressed as a Disney character" with this one as well, but Matt has informed me that the Wizard of Oz wasn't Disney after all......so next year I'll be going as Peter Pan, and Matt will be tinkerbell.

55. Read "The Poisonwood Bible" again.

Status: Complete

I read this book for a mandatory english class waaaaay back in first year university (5 years ago! Eeek!) I thought I liked it, but it's hard to enjoy something properly when you're constantly skimming for appropriate quotes to fill up the 10 pager on the underlying themes of the book due the next week. Especially since my professor for this class dressed in attire that can only be described as the 'matador look'. So I thought I'd give the Poisonwood Bible another shot now as a mature and rational scholar. (A mature and rational scholar who, the other night, got drunk, stole two shopping carts, found two hockey sticks, and used these stolen objects to joust in the street...before crashing into a bush, and looking up to two police officers hovering over her.)

And seeing as how I finished this 550 page book in a mere 4 days, I'd say that I liked it very much indeed!

12. Finish my law essays by September 30th at midnight!

Status: Long completed

Okay, I realize I'm 17 days late in posting about this (though there is no requirement for chronological updates. What's to stop me from posting all 101 things the night before the deadline?) You'll just have to take my honest word that I was done writing the three essays (or rather - one essay tweaked three ways) long before September 30th at midnight! In fact, I believe it was about 10:30pm.

Now they are all sent off appropriately (god I hope I didn't send the "how I'd really like to go to the U of A" paper to UBC), and we wait.....

I'd post the main personal statement for all to see, but it is basically 2 pages of cheesy "this is why I'm awesome", and is therefore morbidly embarrassing, and my proofreader, Matt, can attest to this.

33. Go home for Thanksgiving

Status: Completed - And hopefully repeated indefinitely!

Thanksgiving is like a pre-holiday season holiday, it warms you up for the sugar induced comatose state that surrounds Halloween, and the traditional face-stuffing that is Christmas.

For the past few years I've been straining myself at the holiday season - pulling stomach and jaw ligaments - because I have not been able to make it home for Thanksgiving! I was improperly trained, and my eating muscles were nowhere near ready.

Well, this year I will be a well-oiled eating machine come Christmas - as, for the first time in 4 years, I was actually able to make it home for Thanksgiving. I warned my mother that, after an uncomfortable flight at an hour that doesn't even exist (6:30 am, who ever heard of it??) , the food had better be plentiful.

And was it ever! Yorkshire pudding, mashed potatoes, homemade stuffing, perogies....all drenched in a healthy dose of gravy. Not to mention pumpkin pie and cheesecake (replace "gravy" with "ice cream").

I'm still so-oooooooooooooooooooo full! I'm looking to start eating again a week from next Thursday.

40. Go back to my highschool cafeteria and get a banana chocolate chip muffin.

Status: Deliciously Completed!

In my highschool cafeteria, the banana chocolate chip muffin was far superior to all the "food" they immorally sold us. The perogies were slimy, the soup was just hot water, the chicken burger was......meat. In a land of tasteless, cliched bad lunchroom cuisine, the banana chocolate chip muffin shone like a light from.....a normal dining experience. But if you didn't get to school 3 hours before classes even started (note - blatant exaggeration) then you weren't getting a muffin. Rare was a day when they weren't sold out before the first bell. And since I always had blankets torn off / curtains ripped open starts to my mornings in highschool, actually getting one of these muffins was a delicacy indeed.

The last time I had one was in 2003, the year I graduated. And I've always vowed to return (bright and early) to snatch one away from a deserving little student. Well - I cheated a bit on this. My sister went and got it for me. But it's my list and I'm counting it dammit! And it was nostalgically delicious!

So if you're looking for me at the Hapnot Collegiate Grad 2003 reunion in 20 years, I'll be the one licking out the muffin pan in cafeteria.

70. Get my bangs cut.

Status: Lookin' hot!

The bangs that I had as recently as this morning were not technically bangs anymore, as they made up for a good 50% of the hair on my head. But this afternoon at 1, I bravely waltzed (yes, I waltzed) into the closest salon and declared that I wanted them, once again, to be eyebrow height!

This took serious courage! But apart from looking about 15 with this haircut (the lady who cut them said I "looked good for 22" What's that about?? Am I that old that I could look good for my age now??) I'm quite happy with it. Plus my head feels significantly lighter! I can do all sort of things now that I couldn't before I lost that extra hair weight! Like.....er.......head-banging......to the Spice Girls. (I'm still pumped about that.)

The best part? As I went up to pay, the lady said "don't worry about it" So number 70 has completed without a penny spent! Though now I feel obligated to go there to complete another challenge on my list - get an expensive haircut.

73. Go to a Spice Girls concert!

Status: Miraculously going to happen!!

Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygiddygod!

I've got, in my hot little hands (well, in a few weeks - when they come in the mail), a ticket to see the Spice Girls in concert in Vancouver on Sunday December 2nd in the year of Two thousand and seven!

You have to win a contest to even be eligible to purchase tickets! And I.......didn't win. But my friend (BEST friend, now) did!! She will most definitely be getting breakfast in bed and foot rubs for the next few months for her generosity!

What a once in a lifetime opportunity! As my sister (who's already holding a grudge) put it, "It's like you found the golden ticket and you're going to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. You sir, are Charlie Bucket."

It's the stuff of dreams!

Number 87: Watch 5 Movies from my Childhood

Status: 60 percent done!

Just a quick update to mention that in addition to Free Willy, I've now re-watched Madeline, and my favourite Disney movie - Aladdin.

The movie "Madeline" is the reason I pretended to live in Paris from the age range of 6-9, and in turn, the reason my parents had me psychologically evaluated. Once again, I got a little emotional when they got to keep their school. They deserved it, those courageous but darling French girls.

I'm proud to say, however, that I did NOT cry at Aladdin. I'm not such a wuss.

Number 88: Vote in the SU Elections

Status: Complete (My first actual completion!)

Priding myself as a democratically active citizen.....I strolled to my nearest campus voting booth, completely uninformed, to vote for my faculty's student union representative. My pick wasn't entirely random, though, I voted for the guy that had superior references.

On one of his posters: "I'd vote for this guy if I wasn't fictional." - Indiana Jones.


If he's good enough for Indiana Jones..........

Number 24: Do not skip any classes for the next two months, unless I happen to be on my deathbed.

Status: Failed.

Whoops! Alright, so I wasn't exactly on my "deathbed". But I wasn't finished my tea, and was right in the middle of Aladdin during the "A Whole New World" song, can you really blame me for tucking myself back into bed rather than trudge to American Politics? While I like a good "Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face" joke as much as the next political satirist, we're not learning anything new from this. Therefore, it was a more effective use of my time to finish my pomegranate green tea and watch Aladdin's lie unfold.

I'll try this again next semester.

Number 87: Watch 5 Movies from my Childhood

Status: Off to the races.

Free Willy - check!

And yes, I teared up when the big lug was finally liberated.

I may need some suggestions for this one. Anything but Jurassic Park as it gave me nightmares for months when I was 6.

Number 62: Do not swear for one whole week - Third time's a charm!

Status: Seemingly impossible.

New end date: Sunday September 30th, at 8 pm.

1001 days are going to fly by!

Number 86: Be sticky sweet to Matt for one whole week.

Status: In progress starting Sunday September 23 at 4:30pm.

Since certain overly-sensitive individuals take such statements as, "I'm not going to come home at night because I'll be out hooking up with other men" completely the wrong way, I've undertaken this simple endeavor (which was requested of me, by the way).

For the next 7 days it will be nothing but mushy heartwarming loveliness from this girl, all because a specific person considers being called a "dirty hippie" an insult, for some reason, when I was clearly just commenting that Matt's high regard for the environment is "above reproach".

So here goes! This'll be a piece of cake for the next few hours.......until he wakes up.

Number 62: Do not swear for one whole week - do over!

Status: fucked up.

Goddamn! This is hard! A full day and a half's worth of effort was lost yesterday when I slipped a forbidden word out in a conversation with the wrong person. While I still hold that I was referring to Matt's female dog, I'll play fair and start over.

I now am clean-mouthed until Sunday, September 30, at 4pm.

And as an added caveat, this restriction does not impose upon my thoughts. If you want someone to think about something, tell them not to, and that'll do the trick! I'm being realistic here!

62. Do not swear for one whole week.

Status: In progress - starting Friday, September 21 at 2pm, and ending Friday, September 28 at 2pm.

Ever since I begged little Jamie Downey on the playground in grade one to reveal to me what exactly the "F" word was, I've had a bit of a dirty mouth. I agree, it's not becoming on me, and now, on the cusp of adulthood, I've realized that something needs to be done about it.

I came to this realization yesterday after having your bog-standard miserable day. Actually said "fuck" to my lab TA as I handed in my calculus quiz, spewed a dramatic stream of "shit-damn-ass-whore-rape-titty-fucking" to my roomate (who was quite amused) when she didn't have a loonie for my 4 quarters, and stood in line at the convenience store for the simple exchange of 4 quarters for a loonie muttering similar obscenities under my breath at the guy ahead of me taking ages to buy a lottery ticket (Definition: ages - about 3 minutes.)

We're all like sailors on this campus, as we only ever interact with people aged 18-25. However, one day I may actually finish university and be introduced back into the real world (god forbid!), where I might have to mind my mouth. More than allowing me to be around small children and the elderly, I believe that cutting back on swearing could actually help my psyche - by not working me up into a frenzy over the little things in life.

What I'm hoping to take away from this week is a calm and collected approach to adversity, so the next time I come across " lim x-> 0 (-sin^2x/x)(1/cosx+1) =lim x->0 (-sinx)(sinx)/x(1/cosx+1)" on an exam, instead of screaming "Motherfucker!" in my head, I'll be able to focus clearly and solve the problem.

Number 1: Mention Matt more often in my list than he mentions me in his.

Status: In progress

Now, some of you may hold the (misinformed) opinion that shaming Matt in list cameos is not much of an achievement at all, but I remind you, what is a relationship if not a fierce competition between two people? The main motivation for this being punishment for the fact that I never received so much as a passing mention in his long-running blog, despite the fact that the great baggage tag heist of 2006 never would have occurred without yours truly. Ungrateful!

As it stands, at more than a quarter through our lists, it's 5 to 2.

This also gives me a chance to show off the snazzy new skills I've learned so far in calculus. (i.e. - to count to 5)

Why 101 in 1001?

If there's one thing I love, it's a bandwagon. Pogs at the age of nine, boy bands when I was 12, America's Next Top Model at 22.....uh.....I mean....no, I never liked that.

But what a perfect bandwagon I've jumped aboard this time! The 101 in 1001 challenge allows me to maintain my attachment to all things shallow (Get an expensive haircut), while simultaneously striving towards something really significant (Organize a fundraiser for UNICEF, Get into law school). Gone are the days where my New Year's resolution lists were either tremendously unachievable ("irrigate the Sahara desert"), or purposefully doable ("eat fast food more often"). The items on this list are all reasonably attainable, and a step forward for me.

Plus, the nearly 3-year timeline suits my tendency for procrastination wonderfully.

And so it begins! ..........in 20 minutes.